Home is whenever I'm with you...who?

Each time I fly into the Indianapolis Airport I’m hardly overwhelmed with a feeling of being home. Though all the collections contrived by my American heritage are housed in this droopy state, the only feelings of excitement come at the thought of my family and food (food that is, of course, not prepared by my family.) My only acquaintances are juvenile playmates or the hobo I occasionally smoke crack with near my dads fire pit, and by hobo I mean my three year old sister and by smoke crack I mean blow-bubbles.

As the seemingly outgoing and friendly person that I glorify myself to be, I find myself lonely and bored, coloring my day by cataloging episodes of the Colbert Report and even reading Aid Watch blogs, secretly wishing I had someone to share these habits with. Perhaps this comes as a result of a over-stimulating year, where I was always preoccupied by censoring my beliefs and T-shirts as I was living in unfamiliar and unwelcoming places, where miscommunications resulted at times in Indian host moms asking forgiveness for your misshapen nan bread in front of a shrine of Blue Gods.

Thinking Beyond Borders should probably include some seminar on “Returning to social situations” or “How to small talk like Gandhi” because I have apparently lost all social ability, never had it in the first place, or I am just a mean person, which isn’t worth disposing of… That knowing your audience thing, when it comes to everything, is totally underrated! My failure to learn this guiding communication skill takes responsibility for my current predicament. This may teeter on sounding like a cry for friends, and it is, but these 5 days of solitude have produced some benefits. I have girlified my room with posters of Justin Beiber and my boyfriend (really, is there really a difference?) and read exactly 37 articles on the Gulf Oil spill.
It’s a shame that the oil in the gulf isn’t the eating kind, cause then it would make frying up sea food that much easier. And have any of you all seen the footage of the oil gushing out of the bottom of the gulf? Well, my first though was that it makes Michael Mores period look like a leaking faucet, and second that Wyclef Jean and Al Gore are about to co-write a song about pelicans and sea turtles. Just saying, I said it was coming…

And in between sticky-tacking my walls and a quest to find local food, I have gone to yoga class to center my clustered life and make my butt look like it did sophomore year of high school (is it too early to make jokes like that?) And each time I walk into my studio I revert back to a memory of myself doing yoga in India.

Highly anticipating taking part in this ancient practice in the land of it’s roots I walked in to my yoga class in India ready to impress the teacher and work away months of too much Chinese food. My teacher couldn’t have looked more different that the blond Barbie doll instructor I go to in Indy; it was a older looking Indian man dressed in a suit with a belly that looked more like Buddha’s than my Barbie yoga guru. Upon entering the class he quickly mocked us for our attire and how it paralleled the West’s butchering of this practice that had been coated with a US stamp of efficiency and had been popularized my Madonna’s butt-hole. In that class we began and middled and ended with sweat-less breathing exercises including one that me and my American yoga friend may have gotten in trouble for. With his thick Indian accent he instructed us to raise our hands up and down while doing some sort of power breath making a “ha” sound which quickly evolved into uncontrollable laughter and confusion on our part where the “ha’s” never seemed to end.

And though I never got the workout I probably needed that day, I still find myself nostalgic about that moment of joy when I walk into yoga and feel more like I’m in a Billy Banks video than a yoga studio. Between the excessive apparel, the blaring hip-hop, and the hot instructor shouting out ancient postures and proverbs like a drill sergeant, something feels slightly, hmm, American about all of this. And I can honestly say, I love it.

When I think of this transition from oh-my-god-the-word-is-so-big life, to oh-my-god-there’s-nothing-to-do life, I need to think more on these terms. To stop obsessing about the particulars of the friends I choose, the food I east, and the crack I smoke, but to embrace these American touches—as the death penalty is still legal in my future home state and who knows the penalties for claiming to be liberal in Texas.

JK Austin, luv yas!